Finding the Right One (Genesis 24)

Genesis 24

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"You can't tell me who to date!"  She announced defiantly to her mother.  This was the third boyfriend that her mom disapproved of. 

"Besides," she continued, "what right do you have to tell me after your marriage fell apart with Dad?!"  It was a low blow given in the heat of the moment.  She could see her mother's face begin to boil red.  "He treats me better than I ever saw Dad treat you!"  She was confident that she had made her point and the argument was won.  Nothing her mother could say was going to change her mind.

"Do you think that your father always treated me the way you remember our marriage falling apart?  Why would I ever marry him if he were like that?", her mom lashed back.  It was an unexpected comment that actually caught her daughter's attention, after her daughter swore not to listen to a thing she said.

"He was nice...no more than that, a gentleman, when we first started dating.  We were so different, but we also thought that we were so in love.  He would do the little things.  Holding the door open for me, giving me flowers for no special reason, talking to me through the night on just about anything...well, almost anything.

"My parents didn't like him either.  It's not that they didn't like him as a person, but they didn't like him as a fit for me.  They saw a component missing in our relationship that they knew was necessary.  You see, your father never believed in Christ.  It was never important to him.  The same argument that you are having with me is what I fought with my parents over.  I convinced myself that this piece wasn't important and that our love could overcome our differences.  However, unlike your father and me, my parents could point to how Christ was what kept them together through the storms that come in every marriage, but remains unseen to those whose relationship is built solely on how the other person makes them feel.

"But I didn't listen.  I was going to show my parents that they were wrong about your Dad.  So we married and I convinced myself that I could change him.  But it never happened.  No matter how many times I shared the love of God with him or invited him to church, my faith became a bigger and bigger wedge in our relationship.  I decided to drop it for the sake of peace, but there was always this fear, as I drew closer to God, that he would never come to Christ.

"I thought our marriage was going to survive until you came along.  As we had grown apart because of our different views on the importance of life and morals that come from this difference, I realized that we would be fighting over you and what you were supposed to believe.  He didn't want you to have anything to do with God or the church or that 'superstitious nonsense', as he put it.  I wanted for you to grow up knowing Christ and I still wanted him to open his heart to the idea of God.

"All the fights.  All the belittling that we did to one another.  All the cruelty.  It all began because one of us believed in God and the other one didn't...and neither of us could see it before we married.  But my parents did...I wish I would have listened to them and saved myself from all this pain."

"What and wish I'd never been born?!"  Her daughter jumped in unexpectedly, hurt reflected in her face.  "You know our family may not have been perfect, but I love both of you the same..."  she grabbed her jacket and her keys while she continued, "...and you'll see, we won't be like you and Dad."  Tears were streaming down her face as her mind raced through the implications of the illogical conclusion she had just arrived at.

"No!  That's not what I meant..." she began to say as her daughter raced out the door toward her car.  But she knew it was too late.  Her daughter, like herself, was only hearing what she wanted to hear.  She would spend the rest of the night praying that after she calmed down God would impress upon her the truth of her situation...and prevent her from making the same mistakes.

***

Our culture is so different than that of Abraham's time.  In the time of Abraham, the parents had enormous influence in the marital choices for their children.  So as Abraham thinks about the future of his son and the faithfulness he is to have toward God, he instructs his servant to go back to the land where his family is, a family that believes in the Lord, and not take a wife from among the culture around him that has no regard for Him.  Through the amazing circumstances that follow, Abraham is able to find a wife for his son Isaac.  Abraham's line would be preserved, but more importantly for Abraham, his faith would now have a much better chance to thrive.

In order to preserve our faith for future generations, we need to have the commitment of Abraham and not settle for someone without it.  Above all, we should not believe the lie that there is a stronger tie than faith in a marriage, no matter what our emotions tell us.